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November 24, 2008
Does-not-exist-in-reality News
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Broken banker continues to insist on the reliability of a burned-out bank
translation from http://davydov.blogspot.com/2008/11/blog-post_17.html
Alexei Semonin, the former owner SeverInvestBank, that declared bankrupt last week, convened a press conference «to stop rumors about the reliability of the bank».
«I know that you, journalists, like sensations. However, while not distort the facts. The facts are that SeverInvestBank is one of the most reliable and innovative banks in Russia. We go from the crisis stronger than entered it all the enemies of spite. So make yourself a note. »
After the journalists drew attention to the banker that the bank owed more than five billion rubles, the Central license was revoked, and all property seized, Semonin exploded.
«It is all black PR of unscrupulous competitors who are afraid of us and can not win in the market for fair competition. I do not deny the fact that everything you say takes place; however, it shows that you are not a specialist. Couldn't you call the slogan of our bank? Our slogan, incidentally, «Getting Rich Together». Getting Rich, not losing money. And together, it means that our investors also getting richer. What is the difference, even we cannot pay the debt if we have such a good slogan? Did you think? »
Then, financier hit with critics on the gullibility of people.
«Jornalists, I suggest you better start educating people. After all, our people are too dense. They believe if they ceased to repay deposits, if ATMs do not function, if the Bank property is arested, the bank has a problem. All of this leads to panic... and that panic is dangerous, not ATMs, which stopped issuing money. Why do not you write an article about our logo. Logo, among other things, is blue, a color that makes people calm. Explain to the Russians that if the bank has beautiful logo and slogan, the bank is reliable and it must bear the money. Why pay so much attention to secondary issues such as the inability to get their money back? »
Stood a small pause, Semonin decided to elaborate on the bank loan portfolios, which has led to bankruptcy.
«People criticized us for poor quality of our loan portfolio; asking idiotic qestions like how people with salaries of fifteen thousand, may pay a loan of three hundred thousand. Or why we have such a high percentage of not returning money back. All these questions are posed by people who have no skills of strategic planning.
Let me tell you briefly about the strategy of our bank. We give credit to drug addicts. They are buying cell phones on credit and do not return loans.o Our security services is well aware of this. In fact, they receive 50% of the amount as a rollback. This is not important. We pack these loans and sell them to investors. This is most important. As things now stand, our investors stopped buying our paper because none of our loans are not paid. But this is a temporary situation. Sooner or later, investors accustomed to it and begin anew to buy our paper. Therefore, fundamentally, our position is very strong because we have many practices, how to find drug addicts and insolvent borrowers, we know how to do it better than our competitors, and our competitors are concerned about this fact».
At the end of the press conference , the banker opened his laptop and showed reporters a PowerPoint presentation.
«Have a look at our mission - to become the most innovative and fast-developing Bank in the North-West Russia. Now see graphics. 2007 - 4 offices. 2008 - 400 branches. 2009 - 14000 offices. We are innovative. OUr customers do not stay in line to pay for their apartments and flats, but use online banking. Actually, they do not use online banking yet. But we are already working on technology to connect our users to online banking through television sets Rubin and Sokol. We just push our competitors. This must be emphasized, rather than on the fact that our office is closed, or that we withdrew the license. More importantly, our financial statements were prepared by the McKinsey consultants ? You think about it when you write an article aoubt our bank. »
After thanking all the journalists for caming to a press conference, banker Semonin asked them to pay hundred rubles for a taxi and promised to meet again with officials «when the bank will open its fourteen thousandth office and all the skeptics will be ashamed». Publishing house "Supid Manager" will monitor bank developments.
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