The original Death Race 2000 was an absolute absurd display of violence. It started a whole genre of films filled with cheap laughs through ultra-violent action. It was low-grade. Campy. And 100% hysterical.

THIS film (which I refuse to call a remake) takes the premise and tries to make it plausible... That makes as much sense as thinking you can dry your dog in the microwave.

First off don't pay $10 to see this turd. Simply watch the trailer and imagine you're watching the film in fast forward. Seriously, pay attention and you can watch the entire film now.

1) Jason Stratham supposedly killed his wife. (never seen that before)

2) He ends up in prison. He's an ex-Nascar driver (his talent is he can drive in a circle really fast)

3) The warden "Joan (WTF R U DOING IN THIS PIECE OF CRAP?) Allen" says he can go free if he enters "Death Race".

4) The warden set him up. Obviously even his wife's death is part of her scheme.

5) One of the other drivers (the one with the oh so original "finger as a gun" move) is the real killer.

I'll just take a shot in the dark at the rest... Jason gets his vengeance on his wife's murderer. The warden gets her comeuppance. And Jason gets out of prison along with his sexy, booty-ful co-pilot.

And this is where I see the biggest suspension of logic...

The co-pilots are the ultimate superbabes bused in from some porno they were just shooting out in Chatsworth. (local L.A. joke).

Honestly, if this film was based in any sort of reality it would be the shortest film ever made... Here's a bunch of hardcore prison inmates and their chickalicious navigators sitting in their monster cars at the starting line of the race.

RED. YELLOW. GREEN. GO!

And you know what would happen? Nothing. Every car would just sit on the starting line rocking as if hit by a 9.0 earthquake. They've been in prison for years!!!... Those guys could give a rat's ass about any "death" race compared to what's in the co-pilot's seat!!!...    THE END.

If I really wanted to sit with a bunch of drunken, stoned, sex-starved morons I would just go visit our House of Congress.